I recently came across a Christian Harry Potter fan fiction, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles. (I'm too lazy to link it. You can easily look it up online. It has only fourteen chapters, which are only about one page long.)
Other than being insulting to every other type of Christian than herself, possessing terrible grammar even though she condemns bad grammar and spelling in the story, the characters not being realistic, how prayer works not being realistic, getting details of the Harry Potter universe very wrong, and little rants which make you wonder if there's supposed to be a narrator when there's not...
The author is really into gender roles. All the good Christian women and girls wear pink dresses, cry demurely, and are not very brave. (Like being brave is a sin for a woman?) Hermione, who is a Christian all her life, has to be comforted by Harry, who got saved literally a few hours ago. (But could mysteriously quote the bible, complete with chapter and verse, seconds after Hagrid helps him get saved.)
I was never taught that I had to wear a dress and act emotionally weaker than I felt, in order to be good or righteous. And I'm so glad. I have enough to deal with already.
But this story got me to thinking...if men and women are so different and complementary, why does one have to submit to the other? Wouldn't a couple agree on everything, or easily come up with a solution in which both are happy?
Or alternately, why does one partner have to try so hard, to submit to the other? Why isn't submission so easy, if it's natural to women? Wouldn't the average women not have preferences at all, and just be happy doing whatever the husband wants? (Without having to work so hard at trying to be this way, that is. There would be no pain in submission at all.) In a world where men and women really complimented each other perfectly, as God designed, there would be no need for the likes of Michael and Debbie Pearle (fundamentalist "family" gurus whose books describe abusive behavior on his part, and for both of them towards their children--I have read excellent review series of them by Libby Anne of the blog Love, Joy, Feminism, and Samantha Field of the blog...Samantha Field.)
And most might say that it's our sinful nature or the devil who makes submission hard. But if God designed women for submission, wouldn't we take fulfillment in submitting to our husbands or fathers, without being told to? Why is there a need for books telling women and girls to take joy in submitting? If gender roles are so natural, why do we have to enforce them?
Just like homosexuality is called unnatural, and yet to many people--and animals--heterosexuality is unnatural. Complimentarianism (if I'm spelling that right, because apparently it's a sin if I spell it wrong) and compulsory straightness both say, "Be yourself--but not too much! Our imposed standards are much more natural to you than your natural state."
I am very grateful not to be caught up in either belief system. There are so many more benefits to freedom than wearing pants. There are even more benefits than potentially falling in love or doing what I want. I don't have to try to be anything. I can just fully be myself--accept myself--and that is the best gift that life could ever give me.
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