LGBT/Minimalism/Preppers: Storing Books

I am soon starting my new job as a tax preparer, and the twelve inches of snow that prevented me from going to my first day of training for the job today, remind me that when my family and I get snow here in the country, we sometimes lose power too. So I'm writing while I can.
The snow also reminds me of the two conflicting ideologies I have: being a minimalist, who also wants to prepare for hard times that may come.
So when it comes to books, I have to figure out a balance between the urge to get rid of almost everything, and the urge to hoard everything. I love books, and if we lose power for a long period of time, paper books are all I have. So there's the urge to collect as many paper books as I cheaply can, in the hope that some of them are good, and in case I don't have any other means of entertainment left.
Older used books, if you know the right places to look, are very cheap, in general. I miss the library book sales half the time (which irritates me to no end that they can't advertise the sales better). But even without them, I recently managed to find dozens of science-fiction novellas from the 1950s through the 1970s in a local thrift shop, for a dollar each. So I stocked up on the ones that looked good.

The problem, though, is that it's nearly impossible to find older books with LGBT characters, much less non-straight romance, even in a genre full of alien species. And I like me some gay romance to warm my little gay heart.
And to make it even more awful, in most straight romance, the author's idea of compatibility consists of, "They're in close proximity to each other, and their genitals don't match." Or, even worse, "They hate each other, and their genitals don't match."
Yet there is some interesting subtext in some of these novels. I am convinced that the one I am reviewing right now, The Wrong End of Time by John Brunner, reflects the late author's struggle with his own sexuality. And in another novel I have read a bit of, Invaders From Rigel by Fletcher Pratt, two "roommates" seem to be a gay couple, one calling the other "old dear," and behaving like he very much cares for Old Dear.
But I want more than subtext. Imagine how straight people would feel if examples of their romance were suppressed for decades, centuries even, or portrayed as decadent, destructive, or wrong--and reading the gay romance in old books was just a depressing reminder that their ancestors had to hide their love. If only we lived in a world where no one had to feel this way.

There are excellent stories out there, with characters who happen to fall in love in matching pairs of men and women. And some characters even go from living as a man to living as a woman, and vice versa. But these books are, nearly all of them, relatively modern, and so relatively expensive. And often, the cheapest option for these is ebooks, which would disappear if we lost access to electricity over the long term.
I can't go out and buy a dozen "gay" books as easily or cheaply as I could a dozen "straight" books. About a month ago, I inquired about LGBT books at a local used bookstore in a small town near me, and the man working there directed me to the feminist section, saying, "You might find some here." I didn't find even one. And I live in Oregon, a semi-blue state.
So I stock up on cheap scifi, mystery, and other books I am curious about, occasionally when I can, while using the rest of my book money to buy books I really want. And the cheap books are almost as easily gotten rid of as they are acquired.

There are also ways to make the most of the heteronormative old books you find. I'm having fun writing a review of a book with very homophobic overtones. I also enjoy reading between the lines, and speculating on what the author was going through at the time, or whether he or she was subtextually writing LGBT characters. It's really fun to dissect a story, criticize it, and speculate about the author.
Writing gay fan fiction, mostly in my head for my own entertainment, is another way I deal with the lack of what I really want to read.
But in most of the books I have, there is always something missing. Stories are not as vibrant, without characters of all kinds of abilities, sexualities, gender identities, races, etc. In the batch of scifi I got, I believe all of the protagonists are male, and almost all are white--the lead in The Wrong End of Time is black (though more "well-spoken" than the bad black characters, meaning understood by the white characters), and the lead in two others (Galactic Derelict and The Defiant Agents by Andre Norton) is Apache. But there is not much diversity other than that, to my knowledge. And these stories really miss out, because of it.

When it comes to minimalism and "stuff," different circumstances in life make me want different things. The snow makes me want to hoard things, especially information and entertainment through books. I have lived through many winters where my only source of entertainment for a day or more are the paper books that I have on hand.
I like to look at pictures of personal and public libraries on Pinterest. I love to dream of having lots and lots of books. But sometimes I think that I'll just get rid of most of the books anyway, especially if they are antique leather-bound books and therefore probably boring to me, terribly heteronormative, or morally appalling in what they do write about homosexuals.
But a more modern science-fiction library, even if most of these paperbacks are written for a straight, homophobic audience? Yeah, I might take that. (I also might cull it down, though.) But I do like having cheap entertainment when there's nothing else to read.
Some people are minimalists, except when it comes to books. I try to keep that in mind, whenever I feel like I have too many. I have a shelf full of cheap scifi, and if I had a lot more, I would probably get rid of some. If they're boring, I won't even read them before I give them away. And I will get rid of them when I'm done reading or reviewing them, too. They are held looser than other books, more easily gotten rid of.
And sometimes I even get rid of the "permanent" books I have on hand, when I'm not using them regularly. Those are more challenging to decide on, and to get rid of. But that's another subject altogether.
The bottom line with books, and with anything, is that you just have to find a balance that works for you. Too much would be overwhelming, and too little would make you feel deprived.
One of the most helpful things I have ever done was to write down the names and authors of the books I'm unsure of getting rid of, so that I can get them back if I want to. I have a special notebook with only that list. So far, I have not had to use it to get any books back, but it does comfort me, nonetheless.
Find the right balance for you--the balance between getting rid of everything and hoarding it all, and the balance between cheap books and desirable books--and write down the ones you do get rid of, if that makes it easier. Your book collection will probably be expanding and shrinking for the rest of your life, so don't worry if it expands temporarily.

Minimalism: How I Found A Career, Without Student Loan Debt

I have just completed my required class for Oregon, and passed my test to become a licensed tax preparer.
I am very excited about it, and because my teacher is also the manager of a local tax office, I also got a job offer. Liberty Tax, where I will be working, starts pay at a quarter above minimum wage, so in Oregon that would be about $10 an hour. The figures for experienced tax preparers, however, make it seem worth it in the long run.
So, for those who don't want to go into a bunch of debt in a job market that may not want you anyway, I'm going to tell you about it. I wanted to do a series about debtless jobs, but so far, I can only talk about my own experience. I will post other articles as I hear about other jobs, but I may not personally have worked them, so I cannot guarantee that they will be enjoyable or bearable.
Disclaimer: Granted, I have not started this job yet. It may be the bane of my existence, though I know of some people who prepare taxes half the year while being retired from their other jobs. If they do this, and they probably don't even have to work, I think I can do it too. And though it may be overwhelming at first, I can get the hang of it next year at the latest. In a few years, it will not be a big deal at all.
With that out of the way, here is my experience: I paid $250 for the materials, then took a night class twice a week. The class itself was free, since the company that sponsored it did it to recruit new employees.
 I found some figures given by Liberty about how much their preparers make on average, but I didn't trust those. So to get more accurate statistics, I looked up the Bureau of Labor Statistics webpage for this profession. And in my state, the Annual Mean Wage is $40,760-47,520. I don't know what the mean wage for my particular area is, or how much experience I will have to get to reach these numbers.
My teacher and soon-to-be boss says that tax preparers are actually hard to find. So apparently my new skills would be in demand. She also says that companies often look for help even in the middle of tax season (January through April 18).

If you live outside of Oregon, there aren't really any requirements for you to do this. Even in Oregon, going to school for it is not financially demanding, though it is mentally demanding. It's not that much effort and money at all, if you consider that it's actually like going to college and getting a degree for a job.
 In Oregon, you have to complete 80 hours of instruction and pass a state test. The state test is 163 questions, and you must get 75% correct (123 questions) to pass. You must pay a fee for the test, and if you're not in Salem, a proctoring fee to the local test site as well. Then you have to pay a fee for them to issue your license.
You can take the test multiple times--my local community college has state licensing tests (all kinds, not just for tax preparers) every month. I can also go to a neighboring county if I don't want to wait a month. However, the authorities send your test scores in the mail--not in an email or on a website. It could take up to 30 days to receive your results. Teacher says that it will probably take two weeks, but that it could be longer, especially in December, because many people throughout the state are taking the test in December. So I take my test in a few days, but probably won't know the result until after Christmas!
 You need 30 hours continuing education every year to practice, except for the first that you renew your license, since you just took a long course. I asked how I would even find 30 hours every year, and Teacher says that they will find you. Apparently I will get all kinds of advertisements for seminars and web courses. But for the first year after getting your license, you don't have to take the 30 hours, because you just had 80 hours of instruction already.
Preparers have to work under a Licensed Tax Consultant, the next rung in the system. If I become a consultant, I could start my own business. But for now, I don't want to worry about running a business, so I will be an employee this year and probably the next few years.

My cousin, who was prophesied at church to be a professional baseball player, couldn't make his college team. So he decided that he wanted to be a physical therapist.  He graduated with a four-year degree, which cost him tens of thousands of dollars. But he forgot to volunteer a certain number of hours which were required of him. He managed to find a job in his new profession, but I'm not sure how that's going to get him volunteer hours, if he gets paid for it. And he needs to go back to school to get a Master's degree, eventually, just to keep his new job. But he can't, if he can't get the volunteer hours.
In addition, he has to start paying his student loans very soon. His payments will be $400 a month, for a very long time
So now he's stuck, and he's burdened with a huge amount of debt, and he's only 22. It's a very fucked up system that lets him and millions of others get like this. And that's why I'm skeptical of it all. I have no college debt, and I will do everything in my power never to have it. People say that it's necessary to succeed in life. But how successful are you, really, if you have such burdens?
Apparently, I have to choose between being poor, and being in massive amounts of debt. I'll take poverty, thank you very much. At least I won't have the creditors breathing down my neck, as well as wondering about my financial future and job prospects.
But if this job is really all it's cracked up to be--and so far I have no reason to think that it isn't--then there is a middle ground. And I can always save up money and go back to school later, if I get a good job now.
I'm sure there are enough options like this out there, but the challenge is finding out about them. The likeliest source of information about jobs, to my mind, is the local community college. But then again, they are a college, and also a business, and they will try to sell me a degree.
So I must shift for myself, as far as guidance goes, and try to help others along the way. Hence this article.

Remember, this is a job--not your life! Especially with a seasonal job like this, you can work your job, if it's bearable, and make as much money as you can--and then have a life, that is enjoyable. I still plan to save money to maybe go back to school or take online courses about things I'm interested in. I still dream of one day publishing a novel. And I still want to blog about minimalism, art, and LGBT stuff.
My homophobic uncle seems to think that one's job defines them. He has complained to my mother, "I'm just a mill worker!...I'm just a janitor!...I'm just..." and you can fill in the blank.
Meanwhile, the local lumber mill is very much unionized--there are some good benefits to working there! They also, I have heard, are hurting for workers who can pass a drug test, so anyone clean is a valuable worker.
And as for being "just a janitor," well--he was "just a janitor"...for the freaking school district! He was a government employee.
So he has had some very good jobs, and felt belittled by them. He thinks there is shame in honest work. After my grandfather--his father--supported a wife and four kids on a mill worker's salary, and still wears his union caps to this day...my uncle was humiliated by being no "better" than his own father. I seriously hope that my grandfather doesn't hear what he says. I wonder if it would hurt him, being "just" a mill worker.
(My uncle used to look down on the janitors at his own schools, thinking they were "losers," so he now feels judged by kids. And yes, that actually bothers him, apparently. He is in his mid fifties now--I know, I'm rolling my own eyes, too!)

So get the best, most palatable kind of job you can, whether it's this, or something else. And don't worry about the "status" of your job. Please don't do that to yourself. Be proud of who you are. And be proud of any kind of honest work. Don't put others down for their professions (even if you live in Nevada and don't like prostitution, for example), and don't have people in your life who disapprove of yours. Cut them out, as much as you can.
And above all, be good to yourself. You deserve a good job, you deserve not to go into a whole bunch of debt, and you deserve not to care what others think of you.

Minimalism/Preppers: Don't Have A Car Payment, In The Age Of Trump

A few months before the election, a couple I know bought a new car for one of the husbands' birthdays. And now that Trump has been elected, they are worried that their marriage will no longer be legal soon. And, I can't help but thinking, they also have a car payment to deal with.
One of my first thoughts when he was elected, other than wondering about LGBT rights, was about the economy. I have a feeling that he will do what is good for his many companies, not necessarily American workers. And that may lead to another recession. He may also repeal Obamacare, which some people are afraid of because they would lose health insurance--another situation where extra money would come in handy.
We had a major recession just a few years ago (though I'm not sure how much Obama controlled the banks and lending companies). And already people seem to have forgotten all about it. About 60-70% (my modest estimate) of cars I see on the road, around my home in southern Oregon, are quite new. And I wonder if it is the same everywhere else in the country.
Every time I am on the road, I cannot believe all of the waste of money and resources that I see. One would think that the recession would make everyone a little more frugal and a little more grateful for what they have--maybe even a little more environmentally conscious. But it has apparently taught us nothing. And it seems like these new cars have been popping up in droves, only in the past few years.
 People felt "poor" during the recession, and as soon as they had a little bit of means again, they went out and bought new cars to feel better about themselves. But that is not the way to feel better about yourself, especially in the long term. You will only make things much harder on yourself, when the high of the new car inevitably wears off and you still have the high monthly payment (or a low monthly payment, for the next ten years!). There are other, much less burdensome ways to feel better about yourself. And there are ways to feel better, that don't make you eventually wonder why you did this to yourself.
And all of these people who are scared of uncertain times, now that Trump is elected, don't seem to make the connection to their finances, much less to their car payments. If times are really as bad as they think they're going to get, then you can't afford to burden yourself like this.

My hand-me-down car from my mom (which I absolutely love, for its memories and its free price tag) is about the same age as me--25 years old. A few years ago, my mom had a new engine put in it, for about $2,000. She says that we may need to put a new transmission in it soon, which she estimates would be about $300.
So we've got, basically, a brand-new car for $2,300. And $300 of it we didn't have to pay at first. If the guts of the car are new, the rest of it is probably fine. It's like different organs in the same human body. In a way, it's morbidly fascinating. My car is Frankenstein's monster.
It is much cheaper to buy a car at least ten years old, and have it worked over by a mechanic, than to buy a new, or newer, car. People say that they don't want to bother having work done, but they really can't afford not to. There is no way you can tell me that all of the people driving around new cars can afford them. I know my own family really can't, even though they still buy them. (My uncle regularly complains to my mother, "I just hate having this car payment!" but he never learns.)

I realized before the election that I wanted to stock up on extra food for me and all of my many animals. And it wasn't necessarily because of the upcoming election--I wanted to stock up even if Hillary won. Worst case scenario, nothing happens, and I have a store for personal hard times. I'm not wasting, either, since I buy only what I and my pets already eat, and plan to rotate everything.
And now I have more security, knowing that I will have that food insurance for, as I eventually plan, at least six months. And I also have no debt to worry about paying off. There are ways to make yourself feel more prepared for the coming months and years.
What I have, I wish the same for you. I would urge you, especially if you are afraid, to unburden yourself as quickly as possible. Sell or, if you can, return your new car to reduce or eliminate your debt. Or don't go into debt in the first place. If something happens, you will be glad you did this! If you fear something will happen, you will be glad you did. (And don't wait until the economy is already in trouble. If you are in trouble at that time, others probably will be, too.) And you would probably be glad you sold it anyway, when the high of having a new car wears off.
Unburden yourself, and free up as much money as possible to stock up and to save for a rainy day. And then you will not be as afraid.

Minimalism: My Simple Wedding Tips

I recently talked about watching a video in which a gay couple casually mentioned the $20,000 price tag of their wedding, which prompted me to decide between the two fancy dresses I have now, which one would be my future wedding dress. I decided on the purple one instead of the black one. It doesn't have to be white, and I don't want to get and keep a dress I love less than my other two, just because it's white.

I've never had a wedding, and I'm not even planning one currently, but I am determined not to go into debt, for one day out of my life, which I would be paying for many days out of my life. People used to make do with whatever they had, which was far less than shat we have today. Brides would pass around wedding dresses, they would wear white skirted suits, couples would simply go to the courthouse. And now we've got marriage equality (for now, and we will deal with any setbacks as the time comes), just for gay couples to screw themselves financially as much as straight couples do.

I talked to my mom about her own (straight) wedding, and she said that it was about $1,000, in 1990. Here's what I learned from her:

1) Do it in the evening, after everyone's already eaten dinner. She had it at 7:00 p.m., and only served cake and snacks. That was very smart! The rehearsal dinner was pizza at a local restaurant. Yum.

2) Have someone who sews make your dress as their gift. My mother designed her own dress, out of three different patterns, and my grandmother put it all together as her gift. This tip is for people who feel they must wear white, or don't want to use a dress they already have.(Can you imagine how much the gay couple mentioned above would have spent, had they both been women who like fancy dresses? All they got for all their money were matching tuxes.)

3) Have someone bake your cake as a gift to you. My mom said that her aunt had a major meltdown, on my mom's wedding day, crying, "I can't get the flowers to stick on the cake!" My mom still rolls her eyes when recounting that story. But her cake was free, even if she had to deal with an overly emotional baker. (I'm not sure how much my conservative family will someday participate in my presumably same-sex wedding. And if they would boycott a gay wedding, I don't want them at mine--even if it's to a man. If I have to bake my own cake, I will.)

4) Choose a cheap or free venue. My parents had the use of a church, because they were members there, and being married by the pastor, but that will not be so easy for me. Even the few affirming churches in town, which some of my gay friends go to, I do not want to attend, for various reasons. So I will have it at my grandparents' house or, if they or my homophobic uncle refuse me, at my own house or somewhere just as free. My aunt and uncle on my dad's side had theirs in their own backyard, which was lush with their huge garden, and it was a very charming and earthy wedding. I think hippie weddings are lovely.

 5) Don't have bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc. My parents had them, but I don't see the point. Unless my future spouse really wants them, I don't care to have them. They're just people to put on display, and you can carry each other's rings. If you don't have the people, then you don't have to dress them. My mom caught a lucky break by finding bridesmaid's dresses on sale, but she says that renting the men's tuxes was still the biggest cost.

6) The less you pay for a wedding, the less pressure to have it be "perfect." My mom didn't care that the flowers didn't stick on the cake. But if she had paid the 1990 equivalent of $1,000 or more for that cake, plus the venue, the wedding dress(es), the catering...it might have been a very different story. She might have felt the urge to get her money's worth, and gotten upset that for that amount, everything wasn't perfectly perfect. She might have felt fearful and cheated. Don't put so much pressure on yourself.

 7) Remember that you can always renew your vows later. If you are dissatisfied with this wedding, seriously, just have another next year or in fifty years. You can do that, if your wedding budget is tiny--and not just tiny by wedding standards!

8) Remember that this is one day out of your life together. Yes, it should be special--but you don't need lots of money to make it special! You are committing to this wonderful person that you love. (Right?) You don't have to be a princess for a day, to feel special, if your mate is special enough. Don't handicap the new life you are starting together, by going into debt for only one day. Yes, it may be a memorable day--but should love really come with a huge bill attached? Make the memory of the day that you and your partner decided to make it easier on yourselves for years to come.

Minimalism: $20,000 For A "Cheap" Wedding?!

I recently watched a video of a gay couple talk about their wedding. "We were on the very lowest end of wedding prices," one of them remarked. "We came in at just under $20,000 for everything."
Twenty thousand dollars was the very cheapest? I was so shocked, I literally said aloud, "Oh my god, why have one?! Why not just jump a broom together?" And I never usually talk back to the computer or tv.
I immediately thought of another video I saw, months earlier (which I haven't been able to find since), in which an elderly woman talked about her experiences getting married during WWII. "All of the wives on the army base shared the same wedding dress," she said, "We took turns with it."
They all shared the same dress. The shorter women would have had to pick up their skirt to walk, and the taller women would have had to make do with one that was not full-length. I'm not sure what they did for women who were of a different weight. But it is what they had, and it had to be enough.

I am fascinated by the cutbacks people had to make during the thirties and forties. They survived with much less than we do today, even though it had to be imposed by the Depression and the war, and was relatively temporary. We are so lucky, today, that we do not have to ration food and fabric, make clothes from feed sacks, and put makeup on our legs because we have no stockings available.
But if we cut back in many ways, voluntarily, today, we would be so much better off, financially and in the simplicity of our lives. I love that I can choose where to cut back, because of our modern prosperity, but I also love to find ways to reuse things and not spend money--especially copious amounts like $20,000.

After seeing that shocking video, I went through my own dresses. Other than my Mary Marvel costume (which I am excited to say I made myself, from satin fabric bought at a store-moving sale, and a short red dress for the skirt), I had two: a gauzy, sparkly black dress with a handkerchief hem at the ankles, and a shimmering, light purple full-length dress with an Empire waistline. I call them my Witch Dress and my Fairy Godmother Dress, as I have only to add a hat or wings and I have a complete costume. I am very proud of both of these, as the Witch Dress cost me six dollars at the thrift shop, and the Fairy Godmother Dress came almost free in a grab bag from a garage sale. I used to have several more very nice dresses, but through cleaning out my things over the years, these are the two that have stayed, because I love them both so much.
I decided that I wanted to be married, someday, as the Fairy Godmother.
There is no need for white, as white wedding dresses have only been around since Queen Victoria decided to marry in white, since it was her favorite color. Before that, white was the color of mourning for royalty. Then it became the standard for weddings, when the queen wore it. Laura Ingalls later married in black, because that was what was available.
My mom suggested that I find a wedding dress I like, now, from a thrift shop. But I have a feeling that, if I found a white or cream dress, I would get tired of it eventually, even if I was married in it already. And I don't want to wear my mom's dress, because it has too many beads and sequins on it  for my taste.
"Then get married in a tuxedo," she said. I didn't want to, though, because I don't think I'm that kind of lesbian.
I love lace, and my Fairy Godmother Dress has no lace. But I also already know that I love this one. It can be used for my wedding or other very special occasions. Unless I happen to find or make a dress of any color, with lots of delicate lace, that I love more, this is it for me.

The people who were married in past times did not have perfect weddings. My own grandmother wore a white skirted suit, in 1959. There was not as much pressure on weddings to be perfect, because they often couldn't be, with the available budget and materials. 
And maybe there is more pressure on same-sex weddings to be perfect, so that they will feel "real" to the couple. But a wedding is only one day, out of the whole life you are building together. It will be memorable, no matter what you do, what happens, or what you can afford. And $20,000 or more can buy a down payment on a house--or a fraction of that could buy a nice trip, and you can stock up on food so that you know you will eat for a long time. However magical it is, why have one day cost you a lot of debt, that you will be paying for in your new life together?

I don't know exactly how I will find someone who shares my unusual financial values, but I'm determined that I don't want to ruin my own credit or life for love. I'm not sure when to bring up financial goals, especially early on in the relationship, but I'll deal with that when I find a special boyfriend or girlfriend. But I don't want someone who will pressure me to go into debt, or help me go into debt. And someday, I hope to have a wedding that reflects that financial commitment.

Minimalism/Preppers: Don't Throw Everything Away Yet!

I don't like "capsule wardrobes" for a lot of reasons, and one reason I didn't mention was this: That capsule wardrobes, in which you have only a certain number of items (usually thirty or less, total), are based on the idea that you or the economy will never fall on hard times.
I have seen and read so many people, from extreme minimalists who live out of backpacks, to mothers with two or more young children, say something to the effect of, "If I need something else/if something wears out/if I need that item again, I can just go buy something else."
And this does betray a certain level of privilege, that they have the money to do that, and expect to continue to have enough, for the rest of their lives. But it also says something else: That they expect that the economy, and their own circumstances, will always stay pretty much the same. They are woefully unprepared for any sudden hard times to befall them.

Capsule wardrobes are great, in that they eliminate the burden of choosing something every day, if your clothes are all the same or matching colors, or if you have few enough of them that the choice is no burden. But can your capsule wardrobe last more than one season, if it has to? Do you have enough for next year? Are your clothes going to wear out before then? Even worse, do you plan for your clothes to wear out before then? Are you thinking, "I'll go buy something else when this wears out"?
I don't wish to shame anyone, just make people think, and prepare themselves. If you are saving money in order to purchase new clothes, when your current ones wear out, how do you know that there won't be terrible inflation that you have to deal with then? What if your money is worth less, or you have to save your precious cash for a house payment or medical bills?
Do you expect your one or two jackets to last not only all this winter, but all the next? Are you thinking of simply buying a heavy coat, if you have to? Are you going to purchase something next year, for next year's summer?
One never knows what will happen, or what could happen to their money.

I love getting rid of stuff. I literally go through part of my things every day--my clothes one day, my fabric the next, books the next, etc. It is my favorite hobby, and one of the most relaxing things I could ever do for myself. It is the best time of my day.
But gaining all that extra room, enables me to use it to give myself a sense of security--by stocking up on food, pet food, and other necessities. Even these I go through and purge, to make sure that I will actually eat them, but I plan to buy more of the foods I know my animals and I will eat. I hope to have at least a three-month supply, and eventually a six-month supply. (Though I also like just having the extra room in my room, but where and how to store this food is another issue entirely.)
But food is not the only thing to save for hard times. Even though you can make do with clothes a lot easier than you can make do with food, sometimes you can't make do with clothes. Especially in the winter.
If the once-in-a-few-years storm comes, and you have no heavy jacket or wool clothing, you might or might not be able to buy one. Perhaps it was a sudden storm, and they are sold out. Perhaps the economy is different, and the money you worked so hard to save up is almost worthless. Perhaps you have had to use all of that money for medical bills. Perhaps the roads are impassable, and you can't get to a store or a place where you can buy one.
There will always be an abundance of clothes in America and western countries--there already is, even after all that is donated and shipped overseas--and it's ridiculous. But you may not have enough money to buy the right kind of clothes, clothes that you actually need and not just want--or certain clothes items may be scarce, like stockings were during World War Two.
If you are too much of a minimalist now, and either you or the whole country goes through rough times, you may be stuck wearing a chicken feed sack, as your ancestors before you in the Depression--only nowadays, chicken feed comes in plastic, not cloth. It makes for great tarps, if it's thick enough and you have thick duct tape--but it would make for terribly uncomfortable, and cold, clothing. (At least against your skin. You need anything but an uninsulated raincoat or umbrella, and you're shit out of luck.)

I am not saying not to have a capsule wardrobe, or a small wardrobe. But while you're getting rid of stuff, or thinking about not buying any more clothes, also think about having enough to last at least two full years from this date. One year from this date is cutting it close, especially if your clothes wear out sooner than you thought they would. And three or more years would be too much stuff for some people--maybe even for me, too, in some areas (though I love my jackets).
 Do you have enough socks and underwear for this year and all of the next? What about warm accessories in the winter--hats, gloves, scarves if you need them? You can cut off pants to make shorts in the summer, but if you already have shorts, you can save those pants for the winter. Will those flip-flops last all summer? What about your winter boots? Are enough of your shirts light enough for the summer? Do you have both warm and cool socks? What about tights and long underwear, things to keep you warm? What about pajamas, and the clothes you feed your goats in? Do you have enough t-shirts, sweats, boots, and sweatshirts that you are okay with getting muddy?
I would recommend having at least two or three heavy jackets, if you don't live somewhere like Florida (maybe you should even have one in Florida, with all of the tropical storms down there). And two or three lighter jackets. I love having a variety of jackets, but if you don't, at least make sure you have enough to be prepared, if something happens and you can't get another. Likewise with boots, hats, gloves, warm socks, etc, for the winter--twice as much as you would wear in one season.
The summer is not as urgent, but it is important too. You can swim in anything, and so don't need two or more swimsuits, but many summer items are cheap and easily wear out. If you modify your winter clothes for the summer, you may still be much too hot--and you would then go into your winter supplies.
If you have kids, do you have clothes that are a size or two too big for them? I know it's exhausting to keep up with their growth--but if you must, you can keep a sewing machine, and (in case of loss of power) needles and plenty of thread, to modify grownup clothes. Not the best solution, but it's better than not having clothes for them. Just be sure to have extra grownup clothes for yourself and perhaps your spouse.

You don't have to store all of these clothes in your dresser or where you normally dress. A large box or two in the attic or under your bed should be big enough to store a change of winter clothes and a change of summer clothes, extra goat-feeding clothes, shoes, and a year's supply of extra socks (heavy and light), underwear, and stockings or anything else that wears out easily and quickly. One or two boxes for every person in your house is enough.
It will also be convenient, because you don't have to rush to the store to buy something when it wears out. Just remember to replenish your supply.

I'm not sure how minimalist travelers who live out of backpacks or cars would do this, but they would be shit out of luck anyway, if food was suddenly scarce and they couldn't get back to their homes or heated mini storage units, or if these places were looted or squatted in. If you have relatives or friends who keep things for you, you may not be able to get to them, especially if you don't have a car (or if gas is rationed, or a lot of cars are migrating to better places because of hard times). The mail may not be able to get through, either, even if you are close to the post office.
I don't know what to say. You traded security for freedom and spontaneity already. To some people, and at some points in people's lives, this is what is important to them. In an apocalypse, you would be moochers. Try to have some sort of useful skill you can trade for food. If it's not needed, though, you might still wind up a moocher or a thief. I'm not saying you should start honing the skill of shoplifting to prepare for the apocalypse, but, well...it might help...

I'm also not saying that you should keep anything that is uncomfortable, itchy, doesn't fit, or that you otherwise hate or don't love. You can even buy duplicates of the same items, if you want.
And I'm not saying that you should keep "just in case" items like cocktail dresses or other things that aren't needs. (You can probably borrow one from someone else, if you must. I must note that I do have a few beautiful evening dresses, but that's because I love them--I know they're not a need.)
Though professional wear might be helpful to keep, if you already have it--you might be laid off, if the economy goes bad again. I'm not sure I would spend a lot of money on something like that, that I may not need, though. If I need it, I will borrow from my mother, or if she gets rid of it all, I'll take her castoffs.
Get rid of all that clutter. You'll be so much happier. Just be sure to save a few comfortable, well-fitting items for rough times. It doesn't even have to be that much. And if you buy a jacket or something that you love more, you can get rid of your "extra" one, provided it's the same type of clothing or jacket. Your current jacket then becomes your extra one, if you want to wear the new one now. (And why would you buy something, that you don't want to wear right away?) 
You can have a pretty minimal wardrobe, and still have enough to last through rough times. It's all a matter of balance.

Minimalism: I LOVE My Old, Hand-Me-Down Car!

 I do feel a little bad about how hard I was yesterday here on a friend of mine who bought his husband a new car. (He never saw this blog.) "Just as stupid as the straight people" might have sounded like I don't think he's a very kind and goodhearted person. But we all make foolish choices, when we don't know any better, even the goodhearted among us.We all burden ourselves, and this type of burden is a heavy and long-term one indeed.
Yes, it is their own life, his and his husband's. But they are ruining it, and it is so hard to keep my feelings to myself (though I will for their sake). They are making it so much harder for themselves than it needs to be, and all because of fashion, to impress others, or because they like the egg-or-box-shaped monstrosities of the modern age.
There is no shortage of reliable, older used cars where I live--far from it! (How many are wasted because they rust away out of neglect?) And I can't imagine there are very many places in America where it is much different. Until we run out of reliable older used cars, no one--not even a millionaire--has an excuse to waste money and resources like this. It's not very eco-friendly, in my opinion (and yes, there are ways to reduce emissions or increase fuel efficiency for older cars). And all of that metal, plastics, cloth, and other components has to come from somewhere (I've never seen a recycled car), and be manufactured and shipped with even more energy.

My mom's words echo in my mind: "Why would I want to go to work every day, to pay for something...that gets me to work every day?"
Car payments are a terrible burden that people should avoid whenever humanly possible--and if you absolutely must incur payments, why not buy a car that burdens you with as few payments as possible? A hundred dollars a month for five years or more--or two hundred, five hundred or more for a few years--if freed up, could comfort you and your family with a lot of security and peace of mind. Why not free at least some of that money up by trying to sell? Or not tie it up in the first place?
I repeat my mantra: No car ever feels as good to drive, as it feels to not have a car payment.
I've never had a car payment, and am very fortunate that way. I don't know firsthand what it's like to have a car payment, but I do know how good it feels not to have one. And I also know how much I worry at the prospect of having to come up with a car payment every month, and I don't even have one yet. I will try my best to avoid one, or buy a reliable car at least ten years old--the cheapest I can find, especially in case I have to sink money into mechanics' fees--so that I can make as few payments as possible. Yes, mechanics' fees cost money, and that should be taken into account. But for goodness' sake, they don't cost tens of thousands of dollars, plus interest!
My mom says that whenever she has had car payments, she has worried and stressed over being able to make them, even in good times. I am so fortunate to have her hand-me-down. And I will try not to ever know for sure how I would feel with a car payment, especially for years at a time.
I feel like harping on this subject so much, because this isn't just a little extravagance or a little waste. It is tens of thousands of dollars, sometimes even approaching one hundred thousand dollars. Plus interest, which can easily double the total cost over the years. Never forget the interest; it will ruin your life. It adds up fast.
When my own family or friends incur such debt, it feels like I am silently screaming at a horror movie, "Don't open that door!" Except that the door is often already open, or their hand is on the knob, so saying something would be useless and only alienate them. Only to my mother and this anonymous blog can I really share how I feel about new cars and the car industry.

I am so proud to be driving my mother's hand-me-down Nissan. It is a year older than me (I'm twenty-five), and it is still running beautifully. Yes, there have been a lot of mechanics' bills over the years, but for goodness' sake, how much more would it have been if my parents had traded in cars every few years--especially middle-class status symbols? On top of the routine maintenance that all cars share, it's a couple hundred every few years, not a couple thousand, tens of thousands, or more, every few years.
My mother bought it when I was about eight, when it was already used a few years (maybe now, she would have gotten a used car older, I'm not sure). She hasn't had a payment on it in more than a decade, and now I have no payments on it at all, just upkeep and insurance, which one has to pay for anyway.
I have many very fond memories of her picking me up in that car, or taking me shopping with her, and how great a time we had talking in it.
She once decided not to listen to my pessimistic father, and get it fixed instead of trading it in, and discovered that it wasn't nearly as expensive to fix as she had thought. "My car!" she exclaimed when we went to get it, clapping her hands. "Your car!" I exclaimed with her. She had listened to her gut, instead of a man, and it had paid off.

Once we hauled two miniature goats in the back seat. They didn't even poop or pee back there, and stuck their heads up front to see us once in a while. And once we got on the road, they stopped crying and one even lay down on the back seat.
A bus full of inmates on a work crew passed us, then slowed way down so that we would pass them, then passed us again, just to look at our goats and point and laugh. We were at a loss for words--what the heck was the big deal, here? People have their dogs with them all the time. These were like vegetarian dogs.
"You have Texas license plates--you've seen things like this before!" my mom said a little crossly at a passing truck with a giggling couple in it. We can haul goats in Oregon, warm and sheltered from the weather, just as well, too.
We had a good time, and my grandparents, especially my grandfather, really love their goats. (Don't worry, we have seven others now; we're not goat-poor. My mom has a van they can go in if there's a fire and we have to flee.)

My mom gave me that car to me when she got her new van--new to her, about the same age as the car. "I just love my van!" she says every once in a while when we're out and about. She got an insanely good deal on it--eight hundred dollars, and the guy even worked on it for her before giving it to her--because...well, because she has big boobs.
The guy who sold it to her, an acquaintance who is not in her life anymore by her choice, was the kind of man who is married but still acts like he's looking, thinking he can still charm the ladies. He is one of a long line of creepy men she has had to put up with over the years, and has to even now sometimes, so I don't blame her at all for using his ickiness to her advantage, in the one or few times she can. She never had to make any promises or any actual trades, either. She's very shrewd.
Once we met some people in a parking lot to buy ducks from them. She has the back seat removed anyway, to haul boards for our (her) ambitious home improvement projects. We put a tarp down in the back, then put a cage on top, and gently dropped them in. We drove home happy and laughing, listening to all five of them talking, knowing that they were as warm and safe as we were.
"It's just so awesome--I thought nothing of just putting them in the van," she said. "I wouldn't be able to do that, if it was a nicer rig."
The cats love her van too. Whenever we unload it, several of them are eager to get in it and lie down in there. Our white cat, Snoober, sits down on the open hatchback door, the highest point on the van, and cleans herself; we have to shoo her away to close it. Another one even went with her to work one day, without her knowledge. She put him in a spare room at her work and brought him home that night, and we still have him. (I am so glad that he is not someone else's, since he is so sweet that they would steal him.) He doesn't get in the van anymore.
My mom shares my values when it comes to cars. Our cars are not a symbol of lack to us ("I can't afford a 'nice' car"), but a symbol of all the money that is free for our use, or all the debt we are not in, because we don't have a car payment.

I love my car so much, and I'm so glad that my mom loves her van so much. It doesn't matter that I have to tell people it's my mom's van when she picks me up, so they don't fear for my life. It doesn't matter that my little brother called it a "rape van" when she first got it. There are no rapes and murders here, only good times and saving money.

Minimalism: Why I Don't Like "Capsule Wardrobes," And My Own Tips

 I don't like to be limited to a "capsule wardrobe." I find the concept boring. If everything goes with everything else in your closet, how much variety can you really have?
I occasionally find something that does not look at all like the other things in my dresser, but that I love. And I don't want to be limited to having only one "style" of clothing or sticking to one color theme.
I do want to have only a relatively few favorite pieces, but another part of me wants variety, so it becomes a matter of balancing my two wants. I also sometimes feel like wearing "butch" or "plain" clothing, and sometimes more feminine clothing. It becomes even more complicated when I like something, then I don't, and I put it in the donation box, then really want it and take it back out. I just try to get better at knowing what I like, through trial and error.
Here are my thoughts on a wardrobe which I try to keep minimalist, but also try to accommodate to my changing preferences and many personal styles:


1) You may have more than one personal style. I certainly do. I have what I consider "butch" button-down shirts, some bohemian-inspired pieces, bright and colorful "gay" pieces (in both senses of the word), lots of purple, and some pale pink. But I still go through my stuff all the time to see what I don't like anymore. Just remember that you do NOT have to choose only one "personal style." You can choose several, and if something new strikes your fancy, then you can choose that, too.

2) Forget putting together "outfits." Choose some jeans or a black pair of pants, and wear the same pair until it needs to be washed. I like to do this, and I don't care about choosing what pair of pants to wear all the time. The same thing goes for shoes. I have the same pair of boots, sandals, or tennis shoes that I wear all season, pretty much, until occasionally I wear a different pair of boots. But mostly, I wear the same pair of pants and the same pair of boots all the time, and I like it that way. I often wear the same coat over and over again, too. Everything needs to be simple. Black slacks and blue jeans go with pretty much everything, but if you enjoy brightly patterned pants, as I sometimes do also, a white or black shirt will probably go with them. Keep the pants and shirt together, if that's the only time you wear that shirt.

3) Don't choose from among all your tops every day. Choose a few favorites, to wear over and over, until you tire of them, then choose different favorites. This is what I like to do. I don't wear the same thing two days in a row, though there's nothing wrong with that, if it's still clean. But I like to focus on a few pieces at a time, like my small purple collection. I don't have to worry about choosing pants every day, either, since most of my shirts go with my pants already. I can wear the same pair of pants until I get tired of them or they need to be washed. Same goes for shirts, to an extent.

4) If you love everything you have, "one in, one out" is not necessary. I recently surprised myself by going into a thrift shop and buying five new-to-me tops, after months of not shopping for clothes at all. But I loved all of them. I had been wishing that I had more purple tops in my wardrobe. But I also love everything I have at home. So...I have five new tops now. I don't go by the "one in, one out" rule. I don't shop for clothing a lot, especially compared to how much I used to. And I'm very picky when I do. I also really enjoy going through my things, including clothes, so I don't worry about "one in, one out" when I go through things relatively often.

5) Use the Rule Of Immediate Consumption. Instead of "one in, one out," I use my own Rule of Immediate Consumption. I ask myself, "Would I wear this right now, if I could?" And with all five tops, the answer was yes. Sometimes, even with this rule, there is more than one item that you want to wear right now. But all of the other tops I looked at, I put back, because I would not wear them right away if I could.

6) I sometimes take a picture of the clothes I get rid of, along with a picture of the tag with the company name, in case I want to get it back. I can order it online. And if I can't find it, then at least I know I tried, and I will probably feel better about that. I may even be able to make something like it, if I have pictures and find a pattern. 

7) If something doesn't fit, but you still love it, take pictures and try to find a different size of the same thing online. Get rid of it in the meantime, since you won't wear it anyway. Or if you sew, you can try to alter it, though be sure to find matching or complimentary fabrics if you're making it longer or looser, or else you won't want to wear it. If it is itchy, fits too snug no matter what size, or is otherwise uncomfortable...well, I'm afraid there's no redeeming it, unless perhaps it's loose and cool enough to wear a long-sleeve shirt underneath.

8) Sort the same two or three times, in different categories each time. For example, you can sort all the purple shirts together, comparing the category to see if any look like an inferior or less-favorite version of another purple shirt. Then, put all the shirts together, and compare your favorite purple shirt to your favorite orange shirt. In each category, which one would you grab the most, and by how wide a margin?  You can repeat this process as often as you wish, with as many categories as you wish or can think of. You often find clarity about an item when you have the right things to compare it to. For example, it may be your favorite of the purple shirts, but maybe you like the color orange better. Or maybe you love purple, but when comparing all the purple shirts together, you don't like them all equally. When you find the right thing to compare it to, you learn much more about whether you like it, than you would otherwise. So compare it in several different categories and piles before deciding about it.

Above all, remember to do what works for you. Sometimes you are not yet ready to get rid of something; someday you probably will be, or you will discover that you really do like to wear it, after all.
I hate when minimalist experts tell people to be ruthless with themselves. If you enjoy trying to make your life simpler, as I do, then slowly it will get simpler. And if you practice, you can find out what you truly want to keep, and what you want to get rid of. You can get to know yourself more. And your things will reflect you more.

LGBT/Minimalism: Drag Is Awesome, And New Cars Are Disgusting

Last year about this time, a very kind friend of mine, whom I call Michael here, went in costume to "Spirit Week" at his local public high school. Michael is a teacher there, and also a gay Christian married to another gay Christian teacher. (Teachers always seem to come in pairs--both my (presumably straight) grandparents on one side are also retired teachers; oddly enough, they match even more than that--Michael and Rob both teach high school, while my grandparents both taught elementary school).
And there was apparently a Wizard of Oz theme among some of the teachers' costumes, last year. You can probably guess who dressed as Judy Garland, though the assumption might possibly be offensive if it wasn't true. He had pigtails and a basket and a stuffed dog and everything. And yes, the shoes too.
This year, he was Wonder Woman, complete with tiara, bustier, cape, knee-length skirt, and super-high-heeled pumps. He didn't even have to wear the high heels, as he had shoe-covers that looked like her boots and he could have worn anything under them. But he went the extra mile in black patent-leather pumps that apparently fit him, making me wonder if he had them just lying around. (In a few years, I may have to change the pronouns on this article and add some S's.)
He captioned his Facebook photo, "The things I do for the kids." I guess it was educational for them to see Wonder Woman with a beard. (When I mentioned his beard, my mom said, "I thought he divorced her, though...")
He even spoke in some kind of school assembly, trotting out onto the gym floor in his fabulous footwear.

"How could he do that?" I thought, "It's too cold to dress that way!" And indeed, he was posing in a photo with the Joker and a Batman baby, with a background of a rainy, overcast October sky. (I have never understood those who can wear skimpy Halloween costumes, even if I don't think they should be slut-shamed for it. We need a separate costumed holiday in the summer so people don't freeze and I can finally be Mary Marvel.)

The next day, I was gleefully showing my mother the sheer hilarity and fabulousness of it all, when on his Facebook page, I saw that he had just bought his husband a new car for his birthday. As far as I know, the car is literally new--brand new--and they said nothing about having any problems with their old car, which they appear to have traded in.
And I immediately lost a lot of respect for them both. I couldn't help it.
Buying a brand-new car is foolish enough, especially on two teachers' salaries--and the fact that they have seven kids between them. Seven kids--I call them the Gaydy Bunch behind their back. And they weren't buying a bigger car, either.
I lost respect for them. They're just as stupid as the straight people. You expect more from LGBT people, when Suzie Orman is a lesbian. Though even she might drive a recent-model car, with how rich and famous she is. (Oh Suzie, say it isn't so...)

Literally all of extended family on my mother's side, other than my mother and me, are also new-car-crazy. And my big problem with it comes down to this: No car can possibly feel as good driving it, as the sensation of not having a car payment. There may be some instances where people have to have one, but with established middle-class adults, they've got no excuses to have them for years on end. And at least in my small-town area, no one has the excuse to go into the high four-figure range, or even the five-figure range.
What are these two men teaching their children? What is my family teaching my younger cousins? They are already foolish with money, the youngest, still in college, buying our aunt's "old" car, only a few years old, because she ordered a new custom car--yes, a fucking custom car! His older brother also has asked his mom to buy him a nice new car, when he had a perfectly good car already.
I am twenty-five, and they are both years younger than me. They are headed for a lifetime of unnecessary debt to worry them, in addition to crippling student loans (which I also don't have, more on that in a later post, perhaps).
And their elders don't know any better, either, in spite of having twice or three times as long to learn their lesson. Literally all of them have new cars, and loads of payments and interest. Most are on their second or third new or recent car. I am polite, not to hurt their feelings, but I want to scream--my grandfather is a retired mill-worker, and we used to be so proudly working-class and practical! Or maybe I was the only one who was proud...and practical...

The one whose price I know is my (closeted, I believe) homophobic uncle's--about $12,000--because he bragged that he got a "good deal" on it and how he thought that was from the Lord. While showing it off, he asked me, "AJ, do you want to sit in it?" as if he was being generous and kind. I just went along and put my hands on the wheel to be polite, all the time wondering, "How ever can you drive something that you're afraid of breaking?"
The aesthetic also felt like sitting in an iPod. So much black everywhere--why are all the newer cars so dark inside?
I know he got a loan on it, too, because before this, I saw my grandparents' car (which I later learned he borrowed) at the bank, and ran in to say hello. I looked around, confused, because my grandparents weren't with the teller. "Sorry, I thought my grandparents were in here," I explained to her. "That looks just like their car." (I knew it was, in fact, but didn't want to seem to accuse someone of theft.)
"Oh, it belongs to a member," she smiled. I thanked her and left, and later, it all made sense.
He hadn't had twelve thousand dollars in savings, after all.
And that was only his first expensive car.






All of this is such foolishness. Meanwhile, my mother and I both absolutely love our cars, which are both about the same age as me. I will write about them more in-depth later, because they are just so special to us, for many reasons. And when you're truly happy with your life, why does it matter what gets you places, as long as you get there?
"I just don't understand why I would want to go to work, to pay for...the thing that got me to work," my mother remarked as we shook our heads at Wonder Woman's terrible decision. "And your aunt says that they don't want to mess with mechanics, but what if it crashes? What if there's an accident? There's no guarantees."
"The only car I would ever go into debt for, if I had disposable income, is a vintage car, because they keep their value," I added.
"I just wonder if he's trying to get that man to love him," she said. "'Happy Birthday, my love...'?" she quoted.
I thought of his Halloween costumes--all women--and wondered if he felt he had to bribe him...because his husband, "that man," was gay, and he himself didn't actually want to be a man.

Minimalism: Getting Rid Of Nail Polish

This first appeared on my old blog, Atheist Journeys. 


I like having nail polish in ever color I can, so it was scary to get rid of even one bottle. I found a system that worked for me and let me get rid of some colors painlessly, though.
 I got rid of about twenty-five bottles, and I still have about fifty-four bottles (collected over the years, almost all of them cheaper brands, and once I got multiple bottles when my favorite, rare color was being discontinued). I'm still going through them, and maybe I'll get rid of more, but right now I have both a huge rainbow of colors, and I hopefully have only what I'm likely to use.
Here's what I've found to be helpful. It was painful to even think about getting rid of some, at first, because I've gotten rid of nail polish and regretted it, before. So I go slow when going through anything, and make sure that I don't think I'll want it again.
Use these tips, if you like. I hate it when books or people try to tell me what to do, so apply these suggestions as far as you want to apply them:

1) Get rid of the colors that are so thin, that you need four coats and a strong light just to see them. I like thicker nail polishes, and richer colors, so that I don't have to waste a lot of time putting on multiple coats.

2) Don't collect a whole series of colors. Or, unless you like them all, don't keep them all. This is your personal collection, and if some colors are too thin, or you don't like them, they're not worthy of you.

3) Write down a list of colors and brands you get rid of, if it makes you feel better, so you can get them back later if you regret it. This doesn't work for discontinued colors, but you might be able to get them online, or a shade like it, if you really want to get rid of a discontinued color.

4) When you have two or more shades that are just off of each other, put them on side-by-side and compare them, then keep the color you like best. You may discover, also, that one color is very thin, and so you can get rid of that one in favor of the more vivid one. Ironically, Avon's Vivid Violet is not vivid at all. More vivid was its cousin, Avon's Decadence. Avon is very thin sometimes, if it's not a dark color.

5) I got rid of some nail art tools and decals, because I don't care to do nail art. You may like it, but if you don't, then you won't miss the supplies. You could always use sponges and toothpicks, if really you want to do nail art.

6) I also got rid of some colors I just didn't like, at least as much as other colors. They were all fairly common shades, so I could get them back, or something similar, if I wanted. I may not have grey, or gold glitter, but I could easily get it, if I really wanted it.

7) When buying nail polish, apply what I call the Rule of Immediate Consumption: If you don't want to wear it that very night, then don't buy it. You can get multiple shades, even with this rule, if you love them. But if you don't want to wear them right away, then you probably don't love them. I apply this rule to clothes, too, even if I don't get to wear them right away, as long as I would wear them right away.

8) I have a small plastic box with all of my nail polishes, and I like to arrange them in rows (as much as I can with the different-shaped bottles), and in rainbow order (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple), then pink, white, black, gold, and silver. This way, I know exactly where a color is supposed to be, and I like rainbows because they're both beautiful and gay (like me). So this arrangement makes me smile. I don't worry about sorting the individual shades within the colors in any specific order. Extra bottles of the same shade go after all of the other colors, so they don't get in the way.


Nail polish doesn't take up much room at all, but sometimes it's really nice to have fewer shades to "have" to choose from, if you want to paint your nails. It's all about balancing the urge to have every color and shade possible, with the urge to get rid of everything. I have to do this with my clothes, too, since I love having a lot of nice clothes to wear, but I also love having a few favorites to wear over and over again.

Minimalism And Buying: The Rule of Immediate Consumption

This first appeared on my old blog, Atheist Journeys. 

 
Right after the shooting at my school, Umpqua Community College, I coped with the shock of it by getting rid of an enormous amount of things, and adopting two new kittens. I would highly recommend The Kitten Method to anyone going through grief or shock. I still love my babies, Little Ernesto and Lulu Applesnoo.
I got rid of a lot of things, over the years, but I also learned how to know what I would love, and what I would get rid of right after buying it. One of the most useful tools I thought of is something I call the Rule of Immediate Consumption.
I ask myself if I would wear, eat, or use the item right this minute, if I could. If I didn't like the shade of nail polish enough to wear it that night, I probably wouldn't wear it eventually. If I didn't like that shirt enough to wear it the next time I went out, it was not going to be one of my favorites.
This made me feel good, to have a clear way to know what I really like, and what I only half-like. I saved a lot of money, too, and don't have too many half-liked clothes. It's always the stuff you half-like that causes the most problems, that you can't decide about.
I also try to remember my favorite shirt or coat, etc, and think whether I like the item as much as my current favorite. If I don't like it as much, then I won't choose to wear it, anyway, or I'll wear it but wish I was wearing something else.
I don't buy very many clothes anymore, and I don't feel deprived, either.

Minimalism: Stuffed With Stuff

 This first appeared on my old blog, Atheist Journeys.

There was a time when I had a pretty lucrative (for me) job, where I made more money than I had ever made in my life. And with my penchant for shopping at thrift shops, it went a long way. I was excited and happy at first, finally able to afford nice things, and able to buy them without feeling guilty.
But after a while, my bedroom felt rather cramped (at least for me), and the choice of what to wear became almost overwhelming. I had heard that some people felt bad for the clothes they never wore, but I felt bad about the clothes I never wore. I felt bad because when I saw how much I had accumulated, I felt that I had wasted money. I had just wanted nice things, and when shopping I often felt out of control of my spending.
When I was growing up, I had gotten rid of a lot of things that I later regretted. Some things I was tired of looking at; other things I thought were demonic (or an idol, causing me so much joy that I was sure God was jealous; I am lucky my mom saved some of my favorite childhood toys). I had gotten rid of some stuffed animals in order to be more grown-up. Many of my favorite clothes and toys, too, I had gotten rid of as an effort to please God with my charity, and hadn't really wanted to do it.
I had lost many beloved animals (and even a few humans) over the years, and it was hard to "lose" anything else. Letting something go, sometimes even in a store, felt overwhelming sometimes. So I kept many things that did not make me happy, but that I was afraid to part with.
And now, as I looked around my room, I felt physically full, "stuffed with stuff."
When I was getting ready for school, I chose a scarf. These are more scarves than I will wear in one winter, I thought. I felt ashamed of how many things I had.
I mentioned to my mother how afraid I was of regretting the loss of my things, and she was very sympathetic. "You won't regret it. We'll put your unwanted clothes in boxes and sell them in the classifieds. You can get back some of your money."
That made me feel better, that I could have something from the "bad money" that I felt like I had thrown away. I also believed that any charity would probably welcome money rather than stuff, as they could have their money right away and not when something sold.
I don't shop nearly as much as I used to, and usually it is not my idea. It has taken a lot of work, and learning a few tricks (and how to comfort myself when I had to let something go), but I feel much more in control of my money and my things.

Here is what I learned from that experience:

1) The hardest decisions to make are about the things that you half-like, half-hate, or that you can't make up your mind about.
The things I loved were easy to keep; the things I hated were easy to get rid of; but the in-between things, the ones I couldn't decide on, were the hardest. I sorted my things into three piles: Yes, No, and Maybe. The Maybe items I went back through, judging them individually.

2) Trust yourself to make the right decision.
"Sometimes, I just grow out of things," my mother said. If that was true, then maybe I had grown out of some things too. Maybe I had made wise decisions for the time, but they no longer suited me. I had not wanted to grow out of things; I had wanted to have nice things that I kept for the long term, but maybe I would be happier with a smaller supply and a couple fewer choices.

3) Understand when something you own is a "better version" of something else.
I had two similar pink scarves, but got rid of one, because I understood that I would always pick the other one, if I wanted to wear pink. The one I kept, I liked better. I have also asked myself, in a store, if I own something better at home. If the answer is yes, no matter how good a deal this new thing is, I will always pick the one I already had, and so it would be useless to buy another.

4) Only buy something you would use, eat, or wear right away. I usually only buy things that I can't wait to wear, though that could be more than one shirt, scarf, or what have you. If it's second-rate, then I won't wear it much anyway, and when I do, I won't feel very good in it, because it won't be one of my favorites. 

5) Divide your clothes into three categories, depending on how much you like them. Most of the third-rate clothes should probably go (take pictures of the item and label, if you wish, so you can get it back if you really want it and regret getting rid of it later). The second-rate clothes are probably your biggest pile, but those are probably the clothes that you still don't want to part with. The first-rate clothes are favorites that you want to wear over and over again. They're probably your smallest pile. Even though these are your favorites, I would suggest keeping at least some of the second-rate clothing, because you might be like me and want some variety once in a while. In this way, you can put your "extra" clothes away in a box or something, and "shop" in your closet if you get bored with your favorites.


Going through my stuff and getting rid of some things is still one of my favorite things to do, because I enjoy what I have left even more. (Right now I'm going through my blog and publishing the stuff that I always meant to publish, but never got around to!) But I still love having a lot of nice clothes to choose from. You can do both, if you're willing to put in a little bit of effort. :)

Minimalism: Create A "Mess Box"

This article first appeared on my old blog, Atheist Journeys. It's a favorite of mine.

I like to watch minimalism videos on Youtube, including ones where people are cleaning out their rooms and closets for the camera. I've seen them lament that their countertops or dressers have become a "catch-all" for all kinds of things that are out of place. But that puzzles me, because I think that catch-alls should be built into any system of organization.
I have a "mess box" that I put the mess in, temporarily, so that it doesn't clutter up my dresser and floor. I keep it under my bed. Anything that is out of place, that I just bought and need to put away but am too tired to do so, or that I find on the floor, goes in the box. If I did not have a mess box, then the mess would be out in my bedroom, cluttering it up and cluttering up my mind. I have a designated catch-all, so my dresser and floor don't become accidental catch-alls and let things get in my way.

I have at least two mess boxes, in fact, at any given time. I have one for bigger things--comic books to put away, things that I've purchased that day, papers, craft supplies out of place, etc--and one for smaller things. The smaller one is only about the size of a small shoebox, and all of the little things go in there--gum, mustard packets, beads that need to get put away, lip balm, odd bits of ribbon, etc. I fill up the little one before using the big one, unless the item is too big.
In this way, the mess is contained, and I keep my clarity of mind. I like to go through my stuff, so when I have the time, I go back through one of the mess boxes, putting things in the appropriate piles and putting them away.
 If my bedroom is so messy that I don't know where to start, I put everything in the mess boxes (as many as I need), and then go through the boxes. It is much less overwhelming to go through a box of stuff than to go through the top of a dresser. Everything unnecessary on the dresser goes into a box, and I deal with it then. And it's not overwhelming anymore! It's such a relief!
Anything I have to deal with later, goes in the box. Anything I stumble around, goes in the box. Anything that is hard to put away at the moment, goes in the box. It makes everything so simple! There is a danger that the boxes will fill up, but when they do (and most of the time, well before they do), I simply go through the boxes.
Sometimes I go through the big mess box, and put the little things into the little mess box, to deal with later. It helps to deal with the big things, if you're not overwhelmed with the little things, and vice versa! Little things are particularly overwhelming to me, so I especially love the little mess box. But the big things are also so much easier to deal with, if they're all gathered in a box.

I have many different kinds of mess boxes too. I have one for art supplies--pencils, charcoal, paper pads I'm not using, anything like that goes into that box; I don't have room to put all of my art supplies in one place, so they go here before being put away. I have one for herbs and teas, one for non-perishable food, one for yarn and other crafts. A drawer in my dresser is a catch-all for clean clothes that I could wear again, until I put them away into the other drawers. And of course I have a hamper for my dirty clothes, until I put them in the laundry room. I also have an arts and crafts mess box, near my chair where I work, so that I don't scatter little things around my side table and floor.

My life has become so much neater and simpler since I discovered this trick. It is so much easier to put everything into a box, even if I am putting it away right away. I scan the floor or dresser, figure out the things that don't need to be there, and put them in the box. Then it becomes easier to deal with them, because I know when I'm done cleaning and organizing and putting things away. I am done when the box is empty (or nearly so, though it is only a temporary home for stuff). It's much harder to determine when a dresser or the floor is clear, however.
This also makes it easier to group like items together, before putting them away. If there is an eraser on the dresser, and one on the floor, you have to get out the art-supply box twice just to put them both away while cleaning. But if everything out of place is in a box, then all you have to do is go through the box, picking out all of the brushes, erasers, charcoal sticks, and other art supplies, and putting them away all at once. And this is just one example.

This makes getting rid of stuff easier, too, since you are going through just one box, and not a whole room at once.

This also makes finding things so much easier! I know that if I'm missing something, there is a good chance that it is in one of the mess boxes, since I put everything in there. The only things that lie scattered about my floor are cat toys, and I try to limit those to the ones I actually see the cats playing with.

Now, this mess box is not the same as the box where everything goes, that does not have a home elsewhere.
Things may go from the mess box to the miscellaneous box, to be put away, but I don't put the messes in the miscellaneous box. That just creates more confusion. Little things might be put in baggies and go in the miscellaneous box or some other place, but I don't leave them in the mess box as their home. That just creates more confusion.
The mess box is a temporary home. It is a box that, if everything is put away, it is intentionally left empty, to be filled in case of mess or if something else comes into the house.
And I have at least two "empty" boxes at all times, a big one and a smaller one, because nothing makes a big box seem messy and overwhelming like little things cluttering it up. And some things are too big to be put in the smaller box, and so end up becoming messes in my room and my life.

It is such a relief, since I discovered this system. When my bedroom is messy, I feel overwhelmed. But now I have a simple solution, and even going through the boxes is much easier than sorting through a whole surface, floor, or room. I can go through either mess box, while watching Youtube videos and relaxing, and I don't even have to get up to sort through these things! I do have to get up to put them away, but I only do that when I've found all of the items in a given category. And when I do put them away, I know exactly where they go, and I'm not wandering aimlessly looking for something among the things that are actually supposed to be there.

Minimalism: How To Get Rid Of Books

 This was originally published last May on my old blog, Atheist Journeys. But since atheists are not necessarily my target audience anymore, I've switched blogs recently, and it helps me feel freer to write about whatever I want, not just getting away from religious perfectionism. I want to republish some of my favorite articles from the other blog, here, and this is one of them.

My ideal situation with books is to have a relatively few number, that I like to read over and over, and enjoy every time. And I'm almost there, now. I like to read a little bit of one book, then pick up another, etc. It takes a long time, usually, for me to finish a book, this way. But I like it. I don't get bored so easily, this way. I hate checking out library books, since I only have three weeks to finish a book, if I can't renew it. But I haven't bought a book brand-new in years, and I don't buy books often, so I don't spend very much money on books, anyway.
And I don't feel obligated to finish them, to start reading at the beginning (unless it's fiction), to read them straight through, or to read the boring parts or chapters. I pick up a book, read a little (opening to a random page, if it's non-fiction, because I like to do that), see if it's interesting to me--and with most books, I immediately get rid of them, because they don't hold my interest. It's taken years to get where I am now, with my attitude towards books, but anyone can work towards getting here, if this is what they want. And I still sometimes struggle with feeling like I have to finish a book, or wondering what information I will miss if I throw it out.
But I'm also very lucky, in that lately I have a lot of books that I love to read, even if it's just in tiny pieces here and there. I've got rid of thousands of books over the years, but I have about two or three hundred that I would love to read (and that includes everything from Chilton's car repair manuals, to "I Spy" picture books, so they're not all wordy or "smart.") But I'm always alert, when I'm reading, for whether a book is becoming boring and needs to be culled, so two or three hundred books is not as overwhelming as it sounds.
Yet I often have a dilemma: Do I choose to read the books I like first, or the books I don't suspect I will like, so that I can stop reading and get rid of them if they're bad? That's the question I struggle with all the time. I try to balance both approaches. Sometimes I even think, "This is good, but after I finish this section, I'm getting rid of the whole book." Or I decide that after I read it again once, out it goes.

With some books, I want to learn the information they have in them, but in spite of being excited about the subject of the book, the book itself is not that interesting. This happens a lot with feminist and LGBT books. I skip around, looking for interesting parts, and sometimes I am very thorough. But ultimately, if it is disappointing, I get rid of it, and vow to look for another book on the same subject that looks better. (Almost all used books, especially a few years old, can be bought on ebay or Thriftbooks.com for about $4.00, which includes shipping.)
Just because I don't have many (or for that matter, any) feminist or LGBT books, doesn't mean I'm not a proud feminist or LGBT ally. Don't think that the book is the part of you that you like about yourself or want to become.

Some books have been keepsakes, because my little brother (twelve years younger than me) teethed on them, or my late baby bunnies tore them up. But I didn't want to read them, much less keep them. So I took pictures of them, so that I could remember the bite marks or the shredded pages, then I got rid of them. If I really miss them, I can get books of the same exact title, and tear them up in a similar way or have the almost-thirteen-year-old Cody bite them again. Fortunately, I have not had to do these things so far. I'll bet Cody would bite a book for me, though; he's a pretty good kid.

If it's hard to get rid of books, you can have a notebook with a list of books you are getting rid of. You can write all of them down, or just the best ones, but if you want them back, then you can remember what they are, and get them back. I have a notebook that is designated only for this list, so that I have plenty of room to add to it, and I know exactly where the list is. I write the book's title and the last name of the author, or one of the authors. After a while, you may not feel the need to write down every book title anymore. I only write down the best of the castoffs, anymore. Some books are really good to read--but only once. Or sometimes I want to see what else the author has written, but I don't want to keep her books that I have already read. This makes it much easier to part with them.

With fiction, I personally am very picky. Literally the only fiction I have right now is the Harry Potter series. I also have two fiction books, in German, since I enjoy the language and like to read them aloud, even if I am out of practice and don't understand all of what I'm reading. But I don't count them in the same category as the English-language fiction.
If an English-language fiction book bores me from the start, then I skip around, and if I still can't find anything interesting in later chapters, out it goes. I am reading the Harry Potter series straight through from the beginning, but that is rare for me. I often skip entire chapters, to read only about my favorite characters or plot points (with the rare fiction book I like). I dog-ear the pages I skip, but I never go back to them, anyway.
I don't have too many German-language books, either (fiction or non), since I would rather have one or two favorites, to read over and over, than be overwhelmed by many books.

Some people say to get a Kindle and read books that way, but that's nonsense. Kindle books are usually much more expensive than regular used books, I (like many others) like regular books better, and if a book is older than the 2000s (or even if it's newer), chances are that it's not on Kindle, anyway. The selection is relatively small, the prices are relatively big, and paper is easier on the eyes. I have a Kindle (a gift, which I still like having, just in case), but I rarely use it.
There are many Kindle books available for $0.99, but the ones I've gotten are not worthwhile, anyway. Some Kindle books are free, though those are classics that have no copyright. If you like those, and have a Kindle (or Kindle account on your computer) already, go for it. But if you don't have a Kindle or account already, you can probably find them online. The website for my local public library has a lot of books you can read online, that have no copyright--and thus, you can read as many as you want, at once, and they don't count on your checkout limit, like the newer online and audio books. Check out your library's website, and see if it has a similar system. I know in Oregon, at least, all libraries have that.

And most importantly, please don't feel the need to finish any books! Life is too short to read boring books. Sometimes it is hard to realize when exactly a book is getting boring, but you will get better at it as you practice. There is also nothing wrong in reading only what you want out of a book (even if it's very little), and then getting rid of it. It's your life--the one and only life you know for sure that you have--so read only what you love! :)

Minimalist Facebook: How To Get Rid Of People

 Getting rid of people from my Facebook friends list is almost as satisfying as getting rid of stuff. I keep only those I truly like and care about, and the rest go bye-bye. It's such a relief! And I enjoy seeing posts only from those I really like.
Yes, you can unfollow people, and yes, you can customize your settings so that certain people do not see your posts. But if you can get rid of people, it's even better.
Hardly anyone is even offended at being unfriended anymore, from my experience. Your results may vary, of course. But people don't see when you've unfriended them, unless they stumble across you. They don't get a notification. And if you miss them, you can always tell them you unfriended them by mistake. It's actually true, in a way, isn't it? :)

Here are my suggestions for a more peaceful online life. Get rid of:

1) Anyone who is creepy or needy, even a little. (Block them!)

2) Homophobes and other people who don't share your values. Unless you can get something you need from them, like career advice that you value, for example. Some people may think this is unethical, but you should not suffer for other people's bigotry or erroneous beliefs. Sometimes you have to focus on helping just one LGBT person--yourself!

3) "Nice" people who still don't share your values. It bothers me, when it comes to basic LGBT equality and protections, so I can't honestly call a person like that my friend.

4) Teenagers. Unless, perhaps, you are one. I am 25, so pretty much anyone who is more than a few years younger than me, I find extremely boring. The only one I keep is my 13-year-old brother, in case he needs to message me. No, he doesn't read this blog, and probably never will.
 
5) Really anyone you are not close to, and who is boring.

6) Almost anyone from school, if you have graduated years ago. I have a policy not to look up anyone from my old evangelical school, after some drama with condescending homophobes, closet cases, and my old best friend who got mad that I commented too much (literally three or four times) on her posts. Before you accept their requests, it is a good idea to send them a message to "catch up" and casually mention something important to your own values--LGBT stuff, feminism, etc. Hopefully, you can screen out the awful people that way.

7) Anyone who argues with you. Block them. Yes, some people like to argue, and maybe you are one. But I can't argue about something that actually affects people's lives. Privileged people who "agree to disagree" are still privileged, and disadvantaged people are still disadvantaged. So there are some things where I cannot do that. My Facebook page is like my living room. I wouldn't let someone come into my living room and insult my friends or spout hurtful doctrine, so why would I let that happen in my virtual space? Facebook should be peaceful! (As a friend put it to me once, "I think your mental health is more important than his bigotry.")

8) Anyone who gives you the silent treatment, or does other passive-aggressive things. My best friend from school got angry with me for commenting on her posts, saying that I was passive-aggressive (which I strive so much not to be, because I can't stand passive-aggressive people). So I apologized all over myself. She then...gave me the silent treatment! After a day or so, I realized I wasn't sorry, told her so, told her to fuck herself (and that she would feel so much better if she did so), and blocked her. Damn, that felt so good! I try so hard not to focus on being "good" anymore, and tell myself that it's okay to be a bitch once in a while. Maybe I was wrong to do that--but I try not to care!

9) Really, anyone who ruins your day, in any way. Tell them, "You're not ruining my day anymore," if you wish, then block them. You'll feel so much better.

An easy way to go through all of your friends list is to search it alphabetically. First, you go through and thin out the "a" results, then the "b," and so on. You can refresh the page, if you must, to get rid of the ones you've already unfriended.

When it comes to family, this becomes trickier. You must decide which is better for you: To have them as friends, and keep the peace, if you can't stand them; or to deal with whatever consequences come from them finding out, whenever they find out. There may not even be any consequences. Or you can restrict them so they don't see your posts, and unfollow their posts, if you need something from them.
But if they make your life miserable when you see them, then you owe them nothing, no matter what they have done for you in the past or how much DNA they share with you. Take care of yourself, just like you would encourage anyone else to take care of themselves. Extricate yourself when you can, or don't look for them online in the first place. I am really glad that I'm not friends with most of my family.

I also recently learned something about someone that I should not know. This knowledge made me want to get rid of them, but I kept them, to protect an innocent party who accidentally told me. (They are not cheating on someone or abusing any person or animal, to my knowledge, I assure you.) After my friend from school got mad that I commented on her posts, I commented on one of this person's posts. But they didn't seem to care, and so I still have them. Oh well. I did what I could, and I feel better for it.

I have seen some people say ahead of time that they were going to get rid of some friends, but I don't see why I should. They just get people saying, "Don't get rid of me!" when those are probably the people whom you wouldn't get rid of in the first place.

By getting rid of people, you can make your life so much more peaceful. And life SHOULD be peaceful! Life should be easy. So do whatever you can to make it easy. Do what you have to do, and other people will get over it. It is far better to hurt others, than to hurt yourself.

And if other people get rid of you, people that mean something to you--try not to get mad. They probably don't know how much they mean to you. After this happened to me, I told another friend how much fun I had with them as a child, and how I missed my old friend. (I knew that they shared my values, also, because they seem to be some form of transgender. I expressed my support.) This friend thanked me, said that it meant a lot to them to hear that, and sent me another friend request. So it all ended very happily. But even if it had not, I would have been okay. And I would have felt much better, for saying something, too.