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Sunday, November 27, 2016

LGBT/Others: The Trump Years Survival Guide--15 Tips

 I am somewhat dismayed that a lot of my LGBT friends are freaking out about the recent election, without any sort of plan of action for themselves. I don't blame them for being scared, because both Trump and Pence are very scary people, especially for racial minorities and LGBT people. (One gal said that she had heard of three trans kids so far committing suicide in the first 24 hours, because they were so scared. Don't know how true they are, but I'm sure there was at least one. These are the little tidbits you come across when seeking to find the good, happy gay stuff.)
However, I have found that the best way to banish fear, is to take action. All of these suggestions are good ideas anyway, in my opinion, at least to consider. Remember that no matter how bad it gets, we just have to get through the next four years; just take it a day at a time. But if the election has you scared, then here are some more things you can do:

1) Get your facts. Hilary won the popular vote, while Trump won the electoral college. Which means that a slim majority of people are not the racist, homophobic stereotypes of Trump supporters. Some are simply mistaken--even some LGBT people support him. Voter turnout was also less than fifty percent, by some measurements.
Also learn the powers of the presidential office. He can select Supreme Court justices, and do relatively little else long-term. (Trump will be replacing a late justice that was already conservative, and I have not heard of Ruth Bader-Ginsburg having any health problems so far.) We will see if anything changes, but that is how it stands right now.
This may or may not make you feel better. It made me feel a tiny bit better.
(I have verified these facts as much as I could, though I don't wish to do it all over again to provide the links. I write this blog for a hobby, after all.)

2) For LGBT People: Couples that are already engaged should get legally married as soon as possible. They may or may not be able to make marriages illegal retroactively. If you are already married, it will be harder for them to take it from you. Have as many legal documents as possible--wills, power of attorney, living wills, adoption, medical release for minors, etc--made up in case your marriage becomes void overnight. Don't rush your relationship, but if you know for sure, then don't wait.
Trans people should make all legal and medical changes as quickly as possible. It may or may not be more difficult or expensive later. Surgery and other things like hormones is a big step, but if you are absolutely sure that you want it, don't wait.
Also read the rest of the suggestions, for everyone.

3) For immigrants, or racial or religious minorities:  All I will say is that if it makes you feel better to take actions to attempt to "blend in," or to move to another area to feel safer, if you can, I don't think anyone has the right to make you feel bad about it. Do what you must, both for your safety and your identity, and balancing the two.
Get citizenship as quickly as possible, if you can and don't have it now.

4) Consider getting a gun at home, especially if your phobic or racist neighbors have one. And make sure they know you have it! This isn't to actually shoot anyone, but to hopefully keep them at bay. Hang a Pink Pistols (an LGBT gun group) sign next to your rainbow flag.

5) Save as much money as possible, in case of higher gas rates or losing health insurance, etc. This goes double if you have an expensive medical condition or disability. Even if you suddenly come into a windfall, don't treat yourself, except in small ways. Don't buy a new car, or go on an expensive vacation. Save it for a rainy day.

6) Hoard food, even and especially pet food. You can eat their food, but they may not be able to eat yours. Start slowly, but start. Be sure to hoard stuff you actually eat now, especially meat or other protein, so it's not wasted if nothing happens.

7) For those with loved ones far away: Have a plan so that they can get to you, or you to them. Can your kid halfway across the country carpool with someone who has a similar plan? Do they have enough money to pay for gas or a plane ticket to get to you? You may not be able to wire them anything. If you have a relative in the country, don't show up empty-handed and expect them to feed you.

8) If you're sexually active, and especially can get pregnant, stock up on condoms. It would be best to avoid the situation of needing an abortion during a Republican presidency. Pence has also said that he would cut funding for HIV/AIDS research, in order to fund anti-gay conversion therapy (which actually makes suicide rates go UP, not down!). So, use a condom/gloves/dental dams. And get tested, and vaccinated for HPV, as soon as possible, if you're sexually active. (And remember, condoms expire in six months, and need proper care. Read the instructions.)

9) Be as job-flexible as possible. Read books about switching careers. Learn new job skills, as much as you can. Get a job with a stable company, not an up-and-comer (but still be flexible with your career). If you can, be sure your profession is something useful, that people will always need, such as being a nurse or a mechanic. Read preparedness books. Start up your own side business or job, if you can.

10) Know about natural medicine, and have books about it on hand. It may not be as effective or quick as normal medicine, but you may have to rely on it, if other things are not available or are too expensive.

11) Help your own community. One man I know decided to do this, to assuage his fears of his husband not always being his legal husband. Create LGBT and other safe spaces on your campus, or in your neighborhood or community. Hang a rainbow flag out front or wear a safety pin on your clothes.

12) Talk soothingly to yourself. "I love you," "I am good," or even, "God is glad he made me gay," have been some of the things that I and others have repeated to ourselves, until we've felt better. Be on your own side.

13) Don't be afraid of weird stuff. I have a book called Predicting Your Future by Selene (no last name), with all kinds of fun and weird techniques. I don't know how accurate that book really is, but having it makes me feel a little better, and it is interesting. It's at least something, in this uncertain world (which would be uncertain no matter who was president). We don't anything for sure, so why not give everything at least a try?

14) Get a stuffed animal. If you already have one, cuddling it at your computer or sleeping with it is very comforting, especially when your real animals are busy or absent. Your cats won't always want to cuddle when you do, unfortunately. Don't go overboard buying stuffed animals, of course; one, or however many you have now, will do.

15) Focus on the little things. When my campus had a shooting last October, I focused on the little things--my new kittens, cleaning out my closets, etc--in order to move past it. Focus on the little things, especially those that make you happy.

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