Minimalist Facebook: How To Get Rid Of People

 Getting rid of people from my Facebook friends list is almost as satisfying as getting rid of stuff. I keep only those I truly like and care about, and the rest go bye-bye. It's such a relief! And I enjoy seeing posts only from those I really like.
Yes, you can unfollow people, and yes, you can customize your settings so that certain people do not see your posts. But if you can get rid of people, it's even better.
Hardly anyone is even offended at being unfriended anymore, from my experience. Your results may vary, of course. But people don't see when you've unfriended them, unless they stumble across you. They don't get a notification. And if you miss them, you can always tell them you unfriended them by mistake. It's actually true, in a way, isn't it? :)

Here are my suggestions for a more peaceful online life. Get rid of:

1) Anyone who is creepy or needy, even a little. (Block them!)

2) Homophobes and other people who don't share your values. Unless you can get something you need from them, like career advice that you value, for example. Some people may think this is unethical, but you should not suffer for other people's bigotry or erroneous beliefs. Sometimes you have to focus on helping just one LGBT person--yourself!

3) "Nice" people who still don't share your values. It bothers me, when it comes to basic LGBT equality and protections, so I can't honestly call a person like that my friend.

4) Teenagers. Unless, perhaps, you are one. I am 25, so pretty much anyone who is more than a few years younger than me, I find extremely boring. The only one I keep is my 13-year-old brother, in case he needs to message me. No, he doesn't read this blog, and probably never will.
 
5) Really anyone you are not close to, and who is boring.

6) Almost anyone from school, if you have graduated years ago. I have a policy not to look up anyone from my old evangelical school, after some drama with condescending homophobes, closet cases, and my old best friend who got mad that I commented too much (literally three or four times) on her posts. Before you accept their requests, it is a good idea to send them a message to "catch up" and casually mention something important to your own values--LGBT stuff, feminism, etc. Hopefully, you can screen out the awful people that way.

7) Anyone who argues with you. Block them. Yes, some people like to argue, and maybe you are one. But I can't argue about something that actually affects people's lives. Privileged people who "agree to disagree" are still privileged, and disadvantaged people are still disadvantaged. So there are some things where I cannot do that. My Facebook page is like my living room. I wouldn't let someone come into my living room and insult my friends or spout hurtful doctrine, so why would I let that happen in my virtual space? Facebook should be peaceful! (As a friend put it to me once, "I think your mental health is more important than his bigotry.")

8) Anyone who gives you the silent treatment, or does other passive-aggressive things. My best friend from school got angry with me for commenting on her posts, saying that I was passive-aggressive (which I strive so much not to be, because I can't stand passive-aggressive people). So I apologized all over myself. She then...gave me the silent treatment! After a day or so, I realized I wasn't sorry, told her so, told her to fuck herself (and that she would feel so much better if she did so), and blocked her. Damn, that felt so good! I try so hard not to focus on being "good" anymore, and tell myself that it's okay to be a bitch once in a while. Maybe I was wrong to do that--but I try not to care!

9) Really, anyone who ruins your day, in any way. Tell them, "You're not ruining my day anymore," if you wish, then block them. You'll feel so much better.

An easy way to go through all of your friends list is to search it alphabetically. First, you go through and thin out the "a" results, then the "b," and so on. You can refresh the page, if you must, to get rid of the ones you've already unfriended.

When it comes to family, this becomes trickier. You must decide which is better for you: To have them as friends, and keep the peace, if you can't stand them; or to deal with whatever consequences come from them finding out, whenever they find out. There may not even be any consequences. Or you can restrict them so they don't see your posts, and unfollow their posts, if you need something from them.
But if they make your life miserable when you see them, then you owe them nothing, no matter what they have done for you in the past or how much DNA they share with you. Take care of yourself, just like you would encourage anyone else to take care of themselves. Extricate yourself when you can, or don't look for them online in the first place. I am really glad that I'm not friends with most of my family.

I also recently learned something about someone that I should not know. This knowledge made me want to get rid of them, but I kept them, to protect an innocent party who accidentally told me. (They are not cheating on someone or abusing any person or animal, to my knowledge, I assure you.) After my friend from school got mad that I commented on her posts, I commented on one of this person's posts. But they didn't seem to care, and so I still have them. Oh well. I did what I could, and I feel better for it.

I have seen some people say ahead of time that they were going to get rid of some friends, but I don't see why I should. They just get people saying, "Don't get rid of me!" when those are probably the people whom you wouldn't get rid of in the first place.

By getting rid of people, you can make your life so much more peaceful. And life SHOULD be peaceful! Life should be easy. So do whatever you can to make it easy. Do what you have to do, and other people will get over it. It is far better to hurt others, than to hurt yourself.

And if other people get rid of you, people that mean something to you--try not to get mad. They probably don't know how much they mean to you. After this happened to me, I told another friend how much fun I had with them as a child, and how I missed my old friend. (I knew that they shared my values, also, because they seem to be some form of transgender. I expressed my support.) This friend thanked me, said that it meant a lot to them to hear that, and sent me another friend request. So it all ended very happily. But even if it had not, I would have been okay. And I would have felt much better, for saying something, too.